final chenelyn : the ugly sick pig letters

Atty. Chenelyn Kylie
[State designation here]
[State office name here]

Dear Atty. Kylie:

On the matter of Mr. Ugly Sick Pig’s request to his Honor that a counter-charge be levelled on me, i must head-on address the issue and say my piece.

Let me be clear on one thing : a verbal threat is a serious matter—it cannot just be brushed aside on appeal that he did it simply because he was, in his words, “annoyed by my indecent actions”. The fact that he assaulted me on account of him thinking that my “burat” was brushing past his shoulder, he was clearly the one who injected malice to the action which from the beginning, i maintain, to have resulted from a series of factors that i didn’t have control over. I also maintain, as with one witness’ account, that i apologized for having bumped him; something he did not take heed of, as he chose to lash at this perceived “indecency” to the hilt, acting on gratuitous conclusions.

No matter where one looks at it, he is the one on the offensive side—the one with the foul temper and the mouth to rival it. He never denied any of his pronouncements as i quoted him in my incident report; in fact he admitted to having said all those cruel words on account of his being annoyed. Now a rational civil servant could have acted on one’s annoyance by addressing it with diplomacy, hearing out what the other party has to say with the hope to clear any misunderstanding, but Mr. Ugly Sick Pig chose the ballistic path early on.

Having stated my point, i don’t think “level” is the right word to use, commenting on his request to “level” a counter-charge against me. i have been ridiculed, harassed and tortured emotionally since day-one this incident happened—it has been anything but “level”.

To really level things, i humbly appeal to his Honor’s better judgment—and let justice be served where it’s meant to be served.

Granting Mr. Ugly Sick Pig’s request is tantamount to rewarding him for his unsavoury statements. Furthermore, i respectfully move for the termination of the period of investigation, and seek for the consequent resolution of the case, on account of Mr. Ugly Sick Pig’s failure to explain as directed, by OSLC Memorandum dated 07 October 2008.

Thank you very much.


Respectfully yours,

Pie oh Pah
Administrative Officer, the Dreaming Attic

post-tumble squirt

Its a Saturday afternoon. Having woke up hours before a scheduled meet-up with bloggogatchi girl, i decided to write something to pass the time. i don’t normally sleep in the afternoons, but today, i did. Its a special day, considering that its seldom that i find myself in the metro during weekends. Beside me eyvicat is still sleeping. We were both exhausted, what with the passionate early morning tumble in bed we had, just hours ago; more so with him, as he came here straight from a graveyard shift. so i’ll just let him be for some couple more hours.

Who would have thought that there will be an end to that spiralling madness of casual meet-ups and one nightstands, three years ago? Who would have thought i’d meet someone who would want to embark on a journey with me? someone who saw me not only in my best but also in my worst, and is still with me all these time? caring for me, loving me. Three years, six months and twenty-one days to this day. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

We met at downelink.com. unlike other guys who posted pictures of sculpted torsos or face pictures taken at the best times, i first saw eyvicat with that ‘bagong gising’ look. Hehehe. i dunno, but i immediately took a liking of that picture and decided to send him a message commenting on his shoutout, something about [im]patiently waiting. He answered, saying that he is both patiently and impatiently waiting for the right person; and that became the start of a lengthy exchange, through YM, before finally deciding to meet up.

It was a Monday evening. Straight from work and wearing a long-sleeved barong tagalong, i met him at glorietta. He was wearing an old-rose colored muscle shirt; and though the awkwardness of our attires put side by side made us uncomfortable, it didn’t take long to find ourselves laughing and beaming with relief that the other guy confirmed exactly the image one had formed in his mind in the course of the YM chat. We had dinner at icebergs, and that was the start of something beautiful.

I remember writing something for the “who you’d want to meet” part of my Friendster profile, some years back, before meeting eyvicat. Something about waking up in the mornings with kisses on my back. He sure must have remembered it well, as he kissed my back this morning—tracing a lovely pattern—as a post-tumble gesture of tenderness. At any moment now, he is sure to wake up sporting again that look i fell for, three years ago.—that bagong gising look only my dee could execute in perfect unison with my beating heart. hehehe. Ah, it just keeps getting better.

fuckin' krissy.

Mondays at the office are held as the most sacred of days for it is the only day in the week that people go down to the parking lot for the flag ceremony. It is a sin to get late on Mondays; for one will be required to write an explanation letter to atty. chenelyn sparkles stating the reason why he or she did not make it in time for the flag raising. i can remember writing my first explanation letter and i don’t intend to replicate such action ever again—it involves coursing the letter through channels (underlings who get to read your letter) until it reaches the proper authority; how is that for image?

And so you have me taking extra effort to be on time, and i was on time, this particular Monday morning. i got through the customary chit-chat and small talk with my officemates, with flying colors. At the back of my head i was beginning to wonder if Krissy Mae has already arrived and has positioned herself at that familiar spot under the umbrella tree at the back of the queue. She always does it whenever she’s late so as not to attract attention; otherwise she’ll parade herself til she reaches the start of the line/ queue where she’ll proclaim herself the queen of her little domain by opening her violet umbrella and putting on her black sunglasses. (maldita!)

But nope, she’s nowhere to be found this lovely Monday morning, and i was already beginning to wonder what time will she be arriving and wreaking havoc at the office. Yes, its always like this; ask anybody from the office and they’ll tell you that she’s such a sweet princess. With the lupang hinirang sung, panatang makabayan recited and atty. sparkles finished giving the closing remarks, we proceeded going back to the office. With tighter security measures just put in place, some of the avenues for entry were blocked off by policemen such as the ground floor parking lot in the main building; that left us no choice but to herd ourselves like cattle through the lobby then through the stairwell—both are claustrophobe’s paradise if you ask me. Of course one can elect to use the elevators but at this point in time when everybody’s rushing to get to their offices, relying on the elevators to get you to your destination will surely take forever.

So i took the stairs like most did. At that point, in the tightest space in the race to the offices, she made her entrance like an apparition before my eyes. Trying my best not to look as having just seen a ghost, i said “good morning ma’am”, to which Krissy Mae replied a quick and smile-less good morning. i was about to take a sigh of relief that i was still breathing and have not turned to stone when she opened her mouth to say in trademark Celia Rodriguez tone, “di mo ba ako pauunahin?” how is that for a scene? I tried my best not to react “heller, tingnan mo nga kung may dadaanan ka?” The stairs’ width can accommodate two people at most, and it was just my luck that i’ve already stepped up with another employee beside me, when i saw her in the corner of my eye. It looks like she’s really expecting that i make way for her, the bitch. As if i’ve a choice to answer in the negative and incur her wrath all day, I said, “sure ma’am, mauna na po kayo” then i struggled hard to position myself sideways to accommodate her.

We reached our floor, with her sashaying nonchalantly like some fuckin queen. to anyone who might have been observing i might have looked like the queen's attendant/ handmaid the way i trailed her back--indecisive if i’ll rush past her or just stay my course; which she decided the moment that foul mouth of hers opened at the stairwell. Fuckin’ krissy. What a nice way to start your week, indeed.

the view from pie

Ate left for the church to attend mass this afternoon. Its her birthday today, and like previous birthdays for as long as i can remember, she’s the type of person who takes days-off on these special days. Ako din naman. Who would want to work during one’s birthday anyway? Well, in our house, birthdays are synonymous to cookfests so i expect to be helping her out in a few minutes when she returns from picking out cj from school and buying potatoes for the salad.

she was doing the laundry this morning when the company VP called, passing on to her some bad news. One of her subordinates just handed his resignation letter today. The VP was known for his foul temper and even fouler mouth, and its not hidden from ate’s knowledge that people in the office cringe and duck for cover whenever VP foulmouth is drunk and swerving along the office premises. This has always been the case even when tatay was still alive and working there, too.

This hasn’t been the first resignation this week. The first one to hand a resignation letter was also her subordinate, and she suspects that the VP is one of the (big) reasons for them to be looking for new jobs, aside from seeking advancement in monetary terms too. She told me in an irked fashion that it falls on her to find replacements for those two, and fast. The company isn’t that big to be having a formal Human Resource Department so it kinda fell on her as the head accountant to do these things that concern the work she’s doing.

A little later, Jay, the subject of the VP and ate’s phone conversation called to formalize his resignation. Ate handled it well, telling Jay to recommend people who he might think would want to apply for the job, and to tell his new employer to give him at least a month to train whoever will be hired as his replacement. After the call i asked her if Jay or the VP knew it was her birthday. She said yes. It seems people do not really care for anything except their own worries.

I remember looking at an old poster hanging at her bedroom wall when i was still a kid. When we moved to our new home the poster got lost and was never seen again. It contains the poem Desiderata, and she quoted a line to me just moments ago, from what she suspects came from the poem: “nothing can ever disturb my peace”. Or something like that. And then she laughed. Declaring that today is her birthday, she will continue an unruffled existence no matter what.

As she was saying this, bits and pieces from a conversation of not too long ago pierced my mind : “hindi pa rin ako nakakarecover hanggang ngayon sa sinabi mo sa akin”, she said, her voice cracking over the phone; referring to the day i told her i am gay.

ugly sick pig : the incident

28 Aug 2008


Dear Atty Chenelyn Kylie :

Following is a report on an incident, which happened 27 Aug 2008 at around 7:30 pm at the MRT Shuttle, involving the undersigned and Mr. Ugly Sick Pig of [state office name here].

It is already a given that evening shuttle rides from the office to the MRT is always full-packed. Having arrived rather late and seeing the shuttle already brimming with passengers, I elected to find a spot along the aisle close to some friends with whom I can chat with, to while away several minutes of traffic jam. Somewhere along the Macapagal-EDSA junction I noticed the person (Ugly Sick Pig) seated in front of my friends and adjacent to where I was standing, kept glaring at me every time the bus made sudden stops. This gesture made me think if I have been making him uncomfortable for some time since the shuttle ride started. For whatever discomfort I might have caused him, I said sorry. Now, we all know how “shaky” it gets inside a bus, especially if one is standing; one gets a hard time balancing himself in a moving vehicle. I shifted my stance to avoid brushing past the person again in case the bus made jerking movements, but I wasn’t able to do so and bumped on him again, to which I said sorry for the second time.

He stood, nearing the end of the bus ride, facing me with eyes burning red-hot with anger saying, in his words “Bakit ba tuwing hihinto ang bus kinikiskis mo ang burat mo sa likod ko”. Now I was dumbfounded. I am never a person who bases his dealings on unfounded prejudices. Seeing Mr. Ugly Sick Pig though on first hand (this was our first, uneventful meeting), it never occurred to me that I am facing a [state office here] employee. It was a Wednesday evening and employees are supposed to be wearing their standard issue brown polo barong and black slacks—he was wearing a knee-length pants (purontong), an undershirt, and sandals. Is he by any chance a [state office here] special agent, traveling incognito or perhaps a visitor? ; if the later case were true, I am more entitled to a seat than he ever would be. But its not an issue of seating arrangement. At this point, his foul language was already calling the attention of the passengers. It is not in my character to rise to a provocation. I kept my cool and sincerely apologized ; I never raised my voice all the while trying to pacify him. Mr. Ugly Sick Pig seem to take it the other way though as he later on told me (and the whole bus) in his barrage of humiliating and threatening statements “Gusto mo bang mabasag ang pagmumukha mo? Saang office ka? ” at this juncture an employee alighted from the bus and at that point he (Ugly Sick Pig) further said to me, “Ayan, umupo ka na at baka di pa ako makapagpigil. Bading ka ba, bading ka ano?” With the advise of friends, I let him go out from the bus first before going out to head home.

I was clearly shaken to the bone with all that transpired. I lost sleep last night thinking, what action should I take ; it was clearly an incident I can’t just ignore to pass. Its an assault to my honor and dignity as a person--I haven’t worked this hard, both academically and professionally just to be insulted for something as trifle as standing on a shuttle bus.

Thank you and I pray that the [state office here] management would look into this matter and appropriate action be taken, to avoid recurrence of similar incidents to other employees.


Respectfully yours,





Pie oh Pah.
Administative Officer, the Dreaming Attic

the emancipation project

Those of you who follow my other blog would surely know by now that i am a librarian. Yes, unbelievable it may seem, i am one of the few who earn a living by tending to pages of information, knowledge, reason and enlightenment (?); collecting, organizing and making them readily available for access to researchers. my work requires one to have a keen eye for details, and also to have lotsa patience, not just for unruly/ noisy researchers (shushing is hardly my style) but especially for use at one helluva boss too, that just seems to come from one. Yes, dear reader, lets just call her Krissy Mae, the librarian from hell.

Recently, all my efforts are being directed at one life project i tentatively call “the emancipation of pie,”—my apologies, Mariah, for borrowing your title without permission; i would have called you but my current workload wouldn’t allow me the luxury of doing such. So if you ever come across this blog entry, please understand and take pity; for i am now undergoing what you’ve just gone through with tommy—only with krissy, it is anything but sexual...oh puhleease.

For five glorious years i have toiled under a burning heat. Yes, i’ve been terribly burnt. I turned to writing, to yoga, to running, to watching movies, to reading escapist fares just to have a seeming normalcy in my otherwise abnormal mindscape. Yes, she invaded my psyche too. It seems krissy mae has a doctorate in psywar, for how else would one explain that i became this frozen delight; a promising career gone stale in just the blink of an eye. Have i known that things would turn out this way, i would have applied in other offices right away, instead of stepping in her lair that fateful day of June, five years ago.

“Ma’am, i thought its only respectful that i tell you first before you get to know it from other people, after all i wouldn’t be here have you not taken notice and took me in. I saw an opening for [state position here] and i am thinking of giving it a try, if its ok with you.”

“no, its not ok with me. In fact sobrang hindi ok para sa akin that i will go to great lengths to go straight to [state name and position here] para sirain kita.”

Now, tell me, how’s that for a telenovela scene?

Pie is in anguish. It is time to act. Whatever the outcome, it is better than not to have acted at all.