tsismax

wendy's, 9:10 am.

i just finished ordering meatloaf sandwich from the counter, and settled at my favorite place beside the store's glass enclosure-walls. i am near the bulky, overhead (and ancient) airconditioner, but did not sit directly under it for fear that dust and soot, accumulated through years of neglect, might fall off and land on my sandwich, which the counter-lady promised to deliver in five minutes.

to pass my five minutes, i went on to check my celfone for messages, sent a couple of short ones to friends, and, having nothing left to do except wait, i surveyed the place for cute guys. (yes, i am allowed to do that, under the dadee terms of agreement, hehehe).

a couple of tables away, in front of me, i was distracted by a somewhat loud voice coming from a guy who seemed to be lecturing his guy friend on the nature of love and relationships. i passed them both, on the way to my seat a couple of minutes ago, and i can see that the one being lectured on had the more feminine, sleek, gay urbanite/ metrosexual look that translates to hairgel, muscle shirts, and make-up foundation. the lecturer is in sharp contrast with his friend, for he seemed not to care at all, what with band-aid splat right on his chin--a razor cut, i reckon--loose-fitting shirt, shorts, and flip-flops make for a very home-boy look. homeboy was rubbing knees with ate gurl, (its not my fault i can see it from where i was sitting, noh?) as he continued his very animated discussion of the gay man's take on relationships. here are a few excerpts that managed to stick :

and so what if inabot kayo ng ilang taon?

from this, i reckon ate gurl is nursing a broken heart; but i still can't see the reason for kuya's knee, sliding deliciously into ate gurl's thigh.

what's important is the years shared together. problema ba yon? e di magdagdag pa ng ilang taon.

this part is quite hazy, but i'm just putting it here as conversation marker, to stress my observation that they are not an item, kuya band-aid and ate gurl (but i'm still terribly bothered by the knee action, mind you). kuya band-aid's voice is becoming quite loud, as his monologue is starting to reach me in steady frequency. at this point, i'm already beginning to wonder if the other customers are already getting the drift of their conversation, too. kuya band-aid kept saying "sa mundo natin", and from the way he said this, i get an impression that he's so much comfortable with his sexuality already, that he doesn't really give a damn if others are eavesdropping (ouch, hehe).

at this point, my sandwich has arrived, and kuya band-aid continued, with ate gurl (and myself) in rapt attention:

it's different kasi eh. in boy-girl relationships, the relationships tend to evolve into something sacred; the boy, being the agressive one, tend to get domesticated over the years, arrested somehow by the allure of domesticity offered by the woman. whereas in boy-boy relationships, both are fueled with competitiveness, with raging hormones. its easy to fall prey to the lure of collecting boyfriends. in straight conversations among men we usually hear that, di ba? may girlfriend kung saan-saan? imagine how much more sa atin, na parehong lalaki. before you know, it easily becomes habit; so we collect and collect hoping eventually that it will equal-out to that of the happiness in being in a monogamous, lasting relationship, sa dami ng nakolekta naten along the way.

from where i was sitting, kuya band-aid actually made sense. at this point, i got my celfone out and texted a very important person in my life; the word "sacred" glowing all the more in my mind.

before i got up, the lyrics to one of rufus wainright's song, "i don't know what it is", rang clear in my head. i heard this a couple of weeks ago, and not hearing rufus wainright steadily for days (as i usually did, during my rufus phase years ago) it kinda floated eeriely, and here, now, it resurfaced:

so i knock on the door, take a step that is new
never been here before, is there anyone else who's too in love with beauty?
playing all of the games, who thinks three's a company?
is there anyone else who has slightly mysterious bruises?

thank God somebody answered.