queen bee

I was in the sauna room, winding down after having a massage. It was a rather small room, one that can barely accommodate five guys in one sitting; if you are the sixth one to enter, you’ll likely to be the one standing up. I was the sixth one to enter that room.

As I’m feeling kinda petite that night (hehehe), I insisted on squeezing myself in between two guys who still had a considerable amount of space between them. As it happened, I found myself unknowingly in the midst of a game of seduction, as just barely seconds upon sitting, I noticed the guy to my left kept sending signals to the one to my right. He sat in a forward manner, his back not touching the wooden back rest of the communal seat, so that I could see his expression if I look at his side. He was intently eyeing kuya to the left., while his right hand, whenever he leans back, kept pinching his nipples in a sort of “rawr, I’m too hot for my nipples” kind of fashion. I know this, coz he hit on me too, long before the sauna filled to the brim. What did I do? I just sat in a timid, innocent sort of way, never seeking eye contact; coz once you seek eye contact, that’s usually the predator’s clue that you want IT too.

I know the rules. Been there, done that.

But I’m happily “married” for four years now, and I’m just really going for the heat that’s soothing to the muscles so the hell I care for them horny boys who litter the place like its fuckin F.

Sensing that he’s not getting anything, for all his nipple-pinching act, kuya-in-heat rose to get his shower. When the door closed, there was immediate laughter from one of the men seating to the left of kuya seductee (uhm, tama ba ang term ko? hehehe), as followed up by chatter from among the other men inside the room. it was a sharp contrast from the deafening silence when kuya-in-heat was still with us. as it turned out, they all knew each other and turned out to be a group of pamhintas out to have their regular massage. They were apparently laughing at kuya’s gimmick.

When the door opened again, another macho-looking guy entered. He was immediately welcomed by the group, with the more flamboyant among them saying “Tuloy po kayo sa F, Ginoong Rodriguez”. I was quite startled, hearing the name of that place uttered in this legitimate establishment. But seeing that the room was practically gay, the surprised feeling immediately vanished. Ginoong Rodriguez, as it turned out from the ensuing conversation, is a newly married guy. Flamboyant Ate remarked on Ginoong Rodriguez' sneaking out to get a massage: “sana nagpaalam ka sa misis mo. Just say may uupuan ka lang kliyente”. And the group erupted into laughter once more.

Throughout all of this, I remained the timid, silent one, observing the close bond of friendship among this group of gay men.

if they only knew. Silent, timid me was once F’s queen bee. But that was four years ago.

hottie alert no. 2

this quentin elias picture is dedicated to my dear friend, scheez. :)

i remember the boy series | jeremy part two

I have already resigned myself to this fate : that i would stay forever on the sidelines. As long as i’m part of your world, i’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna be fine, somehow; just as long as i see you smile. Those chinky eyes; those unbelievably spiky hair (oh, my). They never fail to make me swoon. You continue to exist outside my world, day-in, day-out—attending classes in the university, not knowing of my feelings for you.

In my perfect world though, we’re boyfriends already—and we’re already taking things to the next level by talking about introducing you to my parents. We’ve gone on countless dates, under the moonlight, by the sunken garden.. and the grasses there have already familiarized themselves with our bodies’ warmth.

Then one day, there’s this sudden wild talk in the corridors and in the classrooms that you have started courting Janice, one of our classmates in a number of classes we attended that semester. Janice. The regular looking girl. The classroom bestfriend. By her looks, she’s never one to arouse my interest, had i been a bonafide member of the straight male society. So plain. And kinda low on the IQ side, too. How dare you. choosing her over me.

Soon enough, the news that you have been steadily going out with her eventually reached me; and in the coming days, there was a noticeable change of how i related to poor Janice. Where i had been accommodating to her, when she’s asking for help in assignments or projects before, now that i know she’s my biggest competitor, i simply cannot bring myself to be the helpful Pie oh Pah that i’ve once been to her.

Remember the time when we were a group, walking along the acad oval one afternoon? All the others were happily teasing the two of you, on your new-found happiness as a couple. I stood ahead of the pack, walking by myself as fast as i can, eager to be away from the maddening atmosphere of sweet love and its supporters. You probably saw it as just one of my many quirks; i’ve never registered any hint of normalcy back then, had i? To you i might just seem like an overblown kid full of himself and those heavy, heavy stuff contained in books. But now reading this, you already know, this boy had in fact been normal.

He felt.

And bled for you.

hottie alert

i was googling the word delicious the other day.



this picture came out instead.

researching further, i came to know his name is vinicius. hehehe. ah, kaya naman pala. sounds like. hehehe.

i remember the boy series | jeremy

Jeremy.

Hes the first boy who broke my heart. Well he doesn’t really know about any of the things that has gone on in my teeny bopper heart, really, as I kept our love affair so private; very private in fact, that I even kept everything hidden from him.

Suffer in silence, pie. for even though those terribly boyish smiles, naughty grins and good ole promdi charms send your testicles wobbling inside their sacs, you do not stand a chance of him loving you back. He’s a stunner—though he may deny such declarations coming from other people, but the fact remains that he is—and you’re too much of a butterball for him to even notice.

Oh, yeah. He notices alright, but only in the grades department. In exams you wield thor’s hammer—each strike is sure to crush any and all opponents to smithereens. But you don’t see him as one, do you? Everytime he approaches you regarding an assignment or for help with a project, you melt like a popsicle left in the heat of direct sunlight. Your hands become clammy, your mouth dries up and you turn your head in all directions except for to meet his eyes. That would be terrible. That would be too much. What if he saw you blush? Could you have come up with an explanation to cover for an over-the-top girlishness that seem to descend on you like the holy spirit whenever he’s around?

No. so you stand back, and you observe him from afar, nurturing your love for him in your heart; Watering it religiously like some plant, with glimpses of him from behind the bookshelves, the pc monitors in the computer lab, or from across your chair, in the classroom when you’re sure nobody’s on the look-out. Ahh. Sweet times, sweet times.

To be continued