ugly sick pig

09 September 2008

Atty Chenelyn Bumblebee

Legal Counsel

[State Office Name Here]

Dear Atty. Bumblebee:

Attached is a notarized incident report i have previously filed with the office of [State Office Name Here] supporting this formal complaint, which i am now filing in your good office against Mr. Ugly Sick Pig of [State Office Name Here]. I am also providing your office with sworn statements from witnesses on said subject, certifying to the veracity of the events of 27 August 2008.

I am filing this complaint with the hope that whatever dignity is left in my person be preserved, if not restored, in the eye of the public that witnessed how Mr. Ugly Sick Pig assaulted me with his deluge of harsh remarks.

For your office's perusal and swift action. Thank you very much.

Very respectfully yours,

Pie oh Pah

Administrative Officer

The Dreaming Attic

Ugly sick pig,

When will you squeak?

This mousy’s stiff scared

Of your size so big

You wriggled, you wiggled

Your snout for to bicker

I wrangled, I strangled

In this pen, so I’ve trembled

You dirty old bugger,

Think you’re so clever;

But this rat’s some weaver

So shudder and shiver

adam and andy

kyut no? was browsing aimlessly some nights ago when i stumbled on adamandandy.com. this particular strip made for perfect kilig moment. hehehe. haayyy. ;)

inseparable

Chinky. My shuttlebus seatmate. My partner in crime. My confidant. My friend. I miss our "batcave" days when we just meet at the stairwell to talk in hushed tones of last night's affairs; or krissy's bad girl moments wherein i get to top the list of office casualties. I miss our dinners before heading home. I miss your one-liners. I miss my visits to your office or yours to mine; just to talk, using the standard codenames just in case the person we are talking about pass by and accidentally catch on the subject. I miss going to the shuttlebus at night or in the mornings looking for you; immediately sitting beside you, and once again resuming on where we left at, prior to the last shuttle ride we took.

The shuttle was half-filled tonight. At the entrance i immediately looked for that familiar haircut, and the jawline, and those chinky slits for eyes. I immediately saw your back as i entered from the rear entrance of the bus. Beside you, my girl officemate called my name and motioned me to sit between the two of you. i tentatively approached, taking care not to look at you in the eye. I mustered to say a little "hello" and you replied with a little "hi"; doubting all the while as i'm hearing it, if your gaze even wandered in my direction. As i sat beside you, girl officemate began her endless prattle covering an already quite familiar terrain. I steered the conversation so that girl and i talked for the duration of the ride; all the while taking note of your hands—the one beside me—never leaving its grasp on the headrest fronting you, your elbow substituting for a vicious guard dog.

I did the same.

I miss you chinky.

cough, cough.

This cough is getting out of hand. It started like a dry cough, then i noticed it did have phlegm companion whenever i forcibly cough. Must be the cold weather. Then again, it could have been triggered by a recent spa visit, where i did enjoy getting in and out of the dry sauna and the steam room; the Jacuzzi and the cold pool. Sudden temperature changes do wonders to the human body. Then again it could be the sweat drying on my back. Mom was ever vigilant reminding me of always keeping my back dry and changing shirt whenever i sweat in profusion. But then again she’s nowhere to remind me now, as i chose to spend my weekend here, alone in the metro. Well not really alone as i have eyvicat to keep me company, as i said, for one or two nights. But otherwise i’m left to my lonesome self here in a small studio type unit i’m renting, just a five minute walk to one of the mrt stations along EDSA. This morning i forced a cough. There were traces of blood in the phlegm i managed to expel.

Eyvicat suggested that i buy a phlegm expectorant from a drug store and see what happens. It might be that i ‘m exerting pressure way too much that my throat muscles tear.

Had this happened at home, sis would surely see this as an opportune time again to tell me that this is a sign to change ‘my ways’. In the time leading to and after i have unceremoniously outed myself to my sister, there was a slew of events that happened to me; one that required me to undergo a medical procedure, and the other one, involving an ugly sick pig in the company shuttlebus; all these, she points, injecting her spirituality, could be stemming from my taking an alternative lifestyle. In our heart to heart late night conversations she would always cry.

Being the cry baby that i am, it surprised me that at these events there were minimum amount of tears shed. It could be that the ducts dried a long time ago. Once upon a time there was a boy who prayed hard to god to spare him of the unnatural feelings he was having. Prayed so hard because he knew, growing up in a devout catholic extended family, attending a catholic school, and leading a nightly community block rosary recitation—with his sister and other relatives in attendance—that whatever he was feeling, if remained unchecked could lead him to the eternal fires of.. wherever. tears flowed. tears dried up.

People change i guess. Somewhere along the way, years and years passed, the boy and his sister are at the two sides of a coin, the love for each other unchanging but each one trying to win the other to his side of the argument.

There, there. Now, to buy that cough syrup.

pie and chinky : the descent continued

And so pie met codename chinkymae. Chinkymae is a cute older guy from another department that pie used to have a major total crush on. Cute slits for eyes, yummy lips, fair complexion, taller than pie, plus older—he was the stuff of pie's dreams.

When they were introduced by a fellow officemate, riding the company shuttlebus on the way home, pie's harbored feelings got a little more intense! They were not mere faces meeting along corridors anymore; he's chinkymae aquino and he is pie oh pah! This could be a start of something, pie thought. And so pie got to know a little more of chinky, on the daily basis that they rode the shuttlebus.

Slowly, pie's dream bubble deflated the more he got to know chinky. He was wiser than pie in many ways, and that's a good thing; but despite his age, chinky's not the settling down type. he's a player who likes to keep his contacts accessible in case the itch down under got too itchy for self-scratching. Deep in his heart pie knows this is not the kind of set up he wants to end up with, when he got older.

But seeing how chinky seems to be enjoying and having the time of his life meeting guys, pie quickly assimilated the lifestyle that chinky led. Chinky takes credit for pie's initiation to the underground bath houses in the metro. Seeing guys scantily clad in bath towels, prancing around endless mirrored walls and mazes is such a novelty, that pie kept coming back for more.

we all know that one does not just play this kind of game without any battleplan. You go in battle-hardened, never exposing your heart for anybody to pick on. But pie was such a newbie to all of these, that every encounter left a scar on his person. He entered the baths and left a little lonelier and sadder than when he came in. This would go on for months, searching for the one in a place that's not meant to be scoured for the one in the first place. So from crush du jour, chinky slowly assumed the role of a trusted friend and confidant to pie, knowing every heartache incurred from that place and giving what bit of advice he could to make the pain a little less painful.

Pie, in time, learned his lesson and started avoiding the place. he was unsuccessful at first, but in time he mustered the courage to say no to the urges that never seem to die down. His tour over, he set his eyes on online communities that cater to PLUs.

While chinky, well he was everywhere.

the descent

six years ago there was this boy named pie who thought love could be had in chatrooms. he'd often log on early in the night, and log out with sleepless eyes, tired and disappointed. so young was this boy that realization did not strike him that time--that prince charming does not lurk in such places.

so eager was he to meet the other half of his beating heart that he took pains in improving himself physically. he lost a whopping 40 lbs in 6 months, by sheer diet alone; oblivious of the fact that he was reviewing for his board exam that time and such drastic measures could jeopardize his mental performance--but nope, this boy's gotta be fabulous. gotta be ready when boy wonder arrives to sweep him off his feet.

the first two years was spent hitting the dancefloor. not on a regular basis, but on momentuous occassions like when his boyfriend of one month, his first, broke up with him because, the guy said, in shining shimmering splendid quotes "it's not you, its me." feeling cheated of a long and rewarding relationship, he went out with friends to see-and-be-seen places of gaydom malate, dancing the grief out of his system. there, he saw the priest who just said mass that afternoon in their office, also surveying the place. sigh. surely that sight had some bearing on his not-so-pleasant view of religions nowadays. he also saw his big boss dancing with the boys the following night, during that two-day dance extravaganza. the third time, he sweated it out with a new found friend.

sadly this friend was not the type who enjoyed such frivolities as his hole ached for much intimate trysts. together with him, pie found himself exploring a whole new dizzying world. gone now is the innocence.. long gone.

to be continued

beloved

Seems like this whole blog is taking too long on introductions. Explosive first entry... check. Blog title introduction... check. Main character pie... check. Whew, quite a lengthy checklist, huh? When all i wanted was to shield my sister from reading my travails.

You see, i just outed myself to her just a few months back. It wasn't an intentional outing. There have been events prior to that which sort of led to me doing the whole song and dance number in front of her. something which might need a whole different entry just to cover the feel of one dramatic scene unfolding after another. Sigh. Suffice it to say that she sortof initiated me into this whole blogging thing (not that i haven't blogged before--as i've said, i was quite the prolific blogger even before assuming my gentle persona that some of you guys have already met; maintaining blogs that died their natural deaths, as such cases could be attributed to lack of cohesive subjects to anchor my ponderings on) for me to have something to busy myself with, other than my partner of more than three years.

it was her theory that i have to get busy so i'll forget him in time and maybe, just maybe, find a girl to marry like all good boys should. I do love my sister but when it comes to affairs of the heart i know my heart more than anyone could claim to know it ; so its taking me a tremendous amount of time management, shuttling from the metro to the province and to the metro again in the course of a week's progression to balance my family duties and of course to be with eyvicat even for just one or two nights. Of course, such activities have to have proper documentation so my blog(s) do not get left out of the scene, haha! :)

as my sister happens to be one of my first followers/ blog subscribers, i had to device something other than blocking her out entirely. I mean i do not want to be talking of my weekday activities with eyvicat knowing she would read it. Yet it pains me not to talk of such things knowing that my moments with eyvicat are a tremendous part of who i am.

It is in this manner that you get introduced to my beloved sister and eyvicat the beloved.